Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Pretty Birds

Today there was a pretty little bird outside my window. First I couldn't
tell where it was but it was in that gigantic weed-bush that's next to our
camper. It was so tiny, but sang with such sweetness. Praise the Lord for

Monday, September 26, 2005

Hands Outspread

Hmm. I just finished commenting to my heart's content on other people's blogs so I will now get to writing.
In my life nothing especially exciting has happened of late. Which is good, because normally exciting=trouble or bad things happening in my life. Which equals change which is something I fear. (What an equation!) But fear leads me to seeking God in most cases, which is a "good thing" as Martha Stewart would say. Good motto: Seek God when you're happy, Seek God when you're sad; Seek God when you're angry; Seek God.
And if that's not enough to ponder...

"And at the evening sacrifice I arose up from my heaviness; and having rent my garment and my mantle, I fell upon my knees, and spread out my hands unto the LORD my God."
--Ezra 9:5

"What does it mean to spread out your hands to God? It means you are not concealing anything. It means when you go to God in prayer, friend, that your mind and soul stand absolutely naked before Him. Ezra went to God with his hands outspread. He was holding nothing back from God... We need to remember that in our prayer lives."
--J. Vernon McGee

Hands outspread holding nothing back from God. I want that in my prayer life. That and true repentance like Ezra. That is what I am after even if it is so hard to be completely honest with God sometimes. I don't know why because He is omniscient. He already knows. But I don't want Him to have to look down and see what is going on with me. I want to be the one to tell Him hands outspread seeking Him and His face.

{As a P.S., if any of you girls reading want to come and pray with us, I have a Bible study on prayer and you are invited and welcome to come. It's at Dave and Dawn Hellyer's house Monday nights at 7 pm.}

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Faith in God # 2

"Faith in God, and God in Christ, was ever made prominent. They were informed that this faith is not merely an intellectual assent, but is the consent or trust of the heart, a voluntary, intelligent trust in God as he is revealed in the Lord Jesus Christ."
Charles G. Finney

Mr. Finney was awesome in Christ. I absolutely recommend his autobiography.
He found that faith is a voluntary thing. We must choose to have faith in God. We must choose to ask Him to help us in our daily lives to trust in Him, have that faith in Him. He is not just going to do it without us first asking Him and determining in our hearts that that is what we need. Hebrews 11:6 says, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." We cannot please the Lord without that faith in Him. We have to believe in Him and His words to us in the Bible.
He truly does promise to bless those who seek His face. Even in the hard times I have gone through within the past few months, I have found that he does answer prayer. I prayed that my friend would find many good friends in college and that she would not be lonely. He has done just that and His timing in in was perfect. He is truly good to us and His presence is always there.
But we can't just expect for faith to automatically come when we become His children. We have to find that trust in Him. There will be times when as Christians we will doubt; but by leaning on His promises in His word and the past blessings He has given us, we can come through it with renewed strength and hope in Him. And a stronger faith in Him because, "The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." (1 Thessalonians 5:24)
He is faithful and therefore we can have faith.

Monday, September 19, 2005


Hello! Today is my birthday and I am 18 years old. Wow, huh? As always though I really feel no different. Yesterday they announced it in church and then after we all played soccer, mom came and brought cookies, juice, and a balloon. That night we had a birthday party at my aunt's (not the one whose house I am at now) for family. It was fun. We ate ice cream cake and talked about the normal things--like politics/government/current state of the economy. (Those are the things that are good topics for conversation in my family.) And Tom the cat tried to love on me no matter how hard I tried to keep him away. (An example that cats really do know I am allergic to them and are just out to torture me.) This morning I opened my presents from mom and dad. And that is about all that's happened to me. Tonight I will "hang" with a few friends.
One highlight of my day so far has been Sam playing in the water. I love it because our old dog, Blue, whom I also loved very much, hated water except to drink it. (Which is a little like me, but I really don't hate it--I just am not too fond of it...) But I taking back the hose I used to fill up the tank on our camper so I could take a shower, Sam started to attack the stream of water. So I squirted him several times and he continued to growl and jump at the water. (That is what I mean by playing in the water; I didn't get wet). But he was so funny and entertaining. I loved it. It is awesome how God made animals so much for our enjoyment and sometimes comfort. Such a seemingly small thing like that brightened my day.
Another thing that made my day bright was a call at 6:30 this morning from my bestest best friend in the world who now lives in Florida. My sister had to wake me up for it, but it was completely worth it. So that made me happy too. But it was also a little bittersweet because it brought up many memories and my feelings of missing her.
Friends are great things. I've thought about that a lot today, especially considering I am coming close to a new thing in my life. College. I still have a year, but to me college really symbolizes growing up. And I have honestly never actually wanted to grow up. I've always liked wherever I am at in my life, just like I enjoy all 4 seasons. Turning 18 and being technically an adult doesn't really do anything for me because I liked being 17. To tell the truth I am scared to grow up. And it scares me to have to go out on my own and make new friends. And it scares me to have to leave my family and the friends I already have. It does also excite me in a way, but right now I feel mainly fear. But I know and can have the assurance that God will take care of me. He always has. I'll go back to my life-verse again for the thousandth time and remember,

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13

(Sorry for the rambling thoughts. But that is the state of my head.)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Sam, my love

I want you to meet Samson. Later I will put a picture of him if I can, but...
Sam is my family's new puppy. He is half malamute/timber wolf, half border collie. I call him my new boyfriend because I saw a shirt in Wal-Mart (where else!) that said," I traded my boyfriend in for a puppy." And my friends say it sort of describes me.
Sam and I are close because we stay home alone together a lot while everyone else is doing something exciting. He loves me lots and still climbs up in my lap even though he now weighs almost 35 pounds. Monday he and I were taking a nap on the couch and I woke up to him snuggled against my back, his nose in my hair and paw on my face. Which was nice, considering he sometimes, or most of the time, is naughty and wants to bite my face, my feet, my hands, anything he can bite.
He loves mom the most though. Ungrateful dog. But I am his babysitter and companion. Dad is his play-toy. And he likes my sister of course but she is gone a lot at school and when she comes home he is more interested in mom.
So that is Sam in nutshell. And he is nutty. But so am I and I love him.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Faith in God

Lately my mind and heart has made to focus on truly believing God and all He says. And it really is not that easy to do. I think it is because we have been taught by the world to not trust what people say. We are wary of promises. That is probably why Jesus had to say, "I tell you the truth," so many times in the Gospel. We are not used to the truth; we are used to lies. Coming from others and ourselves.
What started this was I was a bit depressed the other night and looking for encouragement when I flipped to Matthew 18. Verses 18-20 popped out at me because I already have them underlined. They say, "I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again I tell you that if two on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them." See He promises that He is telling the truth and that He hears our prayers when two or more of us ask for it. But do we actually believe that? With a true faith? Do we live like we believe that? Those are the questions that pricked my heart. I mean, sometimes I doubt what He says in my actions. I don't live like I believe that all the time. Am I then calling my Lord a liar? Ouch. But then I flipped to the next page and saw Matthew 19:26, "Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.' " He says anything is possible for Him. Further proof that I have no reason to doubt Him.
So I am now trying to live a life that does not say or look like I think my God is a liar. And one great thing about God is He doesn't expect me to be able to do it by myself; He promises to help me, even in believing and trusting that His promises are true. He knows what we are able and not able to do and He loves us in spite of ourselves.

Saturday, September 10, 2005


I am at my aunt and uncle's doing laundry and using their internet like normal. Somedays I feel like such a bum. It's like I live here. And they must get tired of it sometimes even though I try to be super-clean and remember that I really don't live here. But how else will I have clean clothes if I don't come over here?... Someday, hopefully soon, our house will be done. The day I wait for.

Got a cool quote...
"Revivals are sometimes accused fo making people mad. The fact is, men are naturally mad on the subject of religion, and revivals restore them rather than make them mad.
--Charles G. Finney

Mad here equals crazy. And to warn you for future reference I speak of revival a lot. It is something I am desperately praying for within the Body of Christ. Pray for it with me and several others. Our world needs Christ and the Church needs to take on holiness as a requirement to reach them. We should be an example of Christ if we bear His name. And as the quote says, no we are not the crazy ones for living for Him--they are the ones who are crazy and need Christ to restore them to how He originally made them to be. Made in the image of God.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

I have no idea what I am doing

I don't really know what I am doing but I love to journal so I thought this would be fun for me--even if no one reads it. Actually I wouldn't really care if they didn't.
I have a thing for books and am constantly reading one or three at a time. My mom asks me how I can keep them all straight. I don't know but I do. Like I am reading Opened Windows by James A. Stewart (which you really should read if you can find it), an autobiography on Charles Finney, and some Christian romance book right now.
Well I need to go.